As a stepmom (Bonus Mom) you have the possibility of experiencing much pain. There are always going to be arrows thrown at your heart. The best reminder I can give is to keep perspective. In all walks of life this is everything. Your view on the situation determines if you get hurt or not. When the kids don’t tell you goodbye as they run out the door to meet their mom, when they call to tell dad goodnight & never give you a thought. First ask yourself “Why do I need that?” or “Why do I expect that?” The fact that you care is good. It means you love them. The reality is you were happy before these new people graced your life. So why are you all of the sudden needy toward them? I get it trust me. I had to deal with this & ask myself the hard questions.
Truthfully, this is not the way family was designed to be. That is why it hurts. You are giving all this love as if this was your own child but they are not. While they will develop love for you, you are not mom. You have to remember that or you set yourself up for heart break. Loving someone unconditionally means loving them weather you get anything in return or not. I don’t mean allowing someone to disrespect you or abuse you. I just mean you have to check your motives. You give love to give love. Not to get something in return. Remember why you are here. You fell in love with this amazing man who treats you like a queen. Being a bonus mom & sharing life with his children is a small price to pay for the love you get in return. If you are like me, you do what you do for him. Because you adore him & you want to make his life better in every way. Let this be your focus.