Have you ever questioned everything you believe?

Have you ever had a moment that made you lose your faith, question God & completely doubt everything you ever believed? It happened to me just four short years ago.

I grew up southern Baptist style, church on Sunday lunch after church at the pastors house as a kid. I was baptized in the Pee Dee River in SC (with my tennis shoes on).
As a teenager I completely threw Jesus to the wind & went on a rebellious saga to prove I didn’t care what anyone thought of me & the more scandalous & vulgar my behavior…. The better!

BUT GOD….. In His graciousness saved me from myself back in 2002 & my life started to completely turn around. I learned to have some couth & class. I learned to respect myself through a series of people He placed in my path. My life consisted of attending church, bible study, women’s small groups for the next 10 years. I ate, drank, slept & breathed the word of God in an attempt to have a deeper relationship with Him & understanding of my purpose on this earth.

I moved around to a few different churches over this time & wound up in an extremely small one that met in people’s homes. This is where my faith got shattered……… The married pastor (as he called himself) decided to make several passes at me & kiss me. Long story short I removed myself quickly from the congregation & further learned that he had been having an affair for 6 of his 7 married years. Apparently he thought I was the next conquest.

In this moment my world turned UP SIDE DOWN! Literally it tore down everything I believed about the goodness of people & the goodness of God. My mind literally shut down to anything to do with God, scripture or Christians.

I tell you all of this to say God didn’t hurt you, a human did. Though your relationship with Him may look different than it used to He didn’t leave you! The still small voice, the nudging whispers you hear in your black hole of despair….. That’s Him……. lovingly saying “You are going to make it through this & I will never leave you alone”.

In everything that happens to us in this life we have a choice to be a victim or be a victor. I chose to move on & let my trials sharpen me & make me stronger. Now, I’m not so naïve. Now, I guard my heart. Now, I test the word of God instead of taking it from the mouth of another. If someone has hurt you….. Don’t let that ruin your destiny. Remember who YOU are called to be & cling to that!

Leave a Reply