I know that title stings a little. It’s a harsh reality that we better realize quickly. Life is not all about me!!! Remember you are not the only one with feelings. How confused these children must be. Two sets of rules, two sets of parents, five different personalities, including their own. Everything with in them is bound to loyalty issues, their devotion to the birth parent. They love you but don’t want her to see. It pains me when I look in my little boys eyes sometimes. If we are all together at an event for example. When we say our goodbyes he is not sure what to do. I see the conflict in his eyes & it breaks my heart. How horrible that he even has to consider this. He loves me completely but the loyalty he has for his mom, he doesn’t want her to know. Afraid he may hurt her feelings with the love he has for me. Each child handles this differently for him it’s an awkward quick hug & a beautiful smile.
Thankful I see it & understand. I am careful not to ask for too much & I give him plenty of space in these moments. I don’t try to hold him longer or kiss him or make a big production. Again, this is where prospective comes in. It’s not about me. It’s about loving these little people that were entrusted to me & helping them grow up as healthy as possible in a completely dysfunctional world. Everything comes back to your point of view. Perception is your reality & you can choose to write your own. I choose to love freely and give them a little extra grace.