Archive for family

Some times the most unexpected thing is exactly what was needed!

The first part of my life I never expected to have children. I had 13 nieces & nephews & children where just not apart of my plan. I realized what a huge responsibility they are. I did not want to give that kind of time, effort & energy. I realize now how very selfish I was. As a young person that is usually the case. I spent the first year of my marriage growing up! Not just to be a wife, but becoming a mother requires you to care about something more than yourself. I had no idea how very self centered I was. I also realized I wasn’t much of the “Christian” I proclaimed to be. Grace is easy to give when you are in the comfort of your very own box. God shattered my box & gave me a family that didn’t look the way I expected it to. Over the past three years I have learned that being humble is truly thinking of others more than you think about yourself. Grace is a daily gift that God gives you strength to give. I have also learned to never say never. What you don’t expect is usually what you need & God always knows you better than you know yourself. I have always had a lot of love to give. Now I know why. I have three little people who soak up every moment I will give them. I have discovered what my love was made for.

 

Never a dull moment!

The first time I ever met my husband he was backing into an elevator & rapping Will Smith’s ……. Let’s get busy baby! I knew right then an adventure was a foot! Three years later & never a dull moment!

Deeper than the depths of the sea!

Guard your heart Bonus Mom.

As a stepmom (Bonus Mom) you have the possibility of experiencing much pain. There are always going to be arrows thrown at your heart. The best reminder I can give is to keep perspective. In all walks of life this is everything. Your view on the situation determines if you get hurt or not. When the kids don’t tell you goodbye as they run out the door to meet their mom, when they call to tell dad goodnight & never give you a thought. First ask yourself “Why do I need that?” or “Why do I expect that?” The fact that you care is good. It means you love them. The reality is you were happy before these new people graced your life. So why are you all of the sudden needy toward them? I get it trust me. I had to deal with this & ask myself the hard questions.

Truthfully, this is not the way family was designed to be. That is why it hurts. You are giving all this love as if this was your own child but they are not. While they will develop love for you, you are not mom. You have to remember that or you set yourself up for heart break. Loving someone unconditionally means loving them weather you get anything in return or not. I don’t mean allowing someone to disrespect you or abuse you. I just mean you have to check your motives. You give love to give love. Not to get something in return. Remember why you are here. You fell in love with this amazing man who treats you like a queen. Being a bonus mom & sharing life with his children is a small price to pay for the love you get in return. If you are like me, you do what you do for him. Because you adore him & you want to make his life better in every way. Let this be your focus.